#neither are any less important to me they are just ''new'' in my brain

[doodlingcrayon]

I didn't wanna make anything fancy I just wanted to crack open my palette and use a bajillion colors and so I did with some of my d&d characters (but not all. bc there have been so many now LOL)

anyway hope everyone is having a good June 😊

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Upcoming Fics!

Hello hello! Tis that time again, I am back with another update of what's to come! Let me know what you're most excited to see, or if there's any ideas you'd like to see from me, I just love talking to you guys, it's great! Anyways, onto the important stuff...

Right Beside You (Vessel x Fem! Reader) FLUFF (request for @theriseofshin) - Vessel comes by to visit Reader. After a peaceful afternoon together a large storm rolls in. Vessel, noticing Reader's anxiety surrounding the weather, does everything in his power to help her get through the night. Absolute sweetness ensues

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) pt. 10 - (this chapter has been getting worked on a lot in the background so hopefully publishing isn't too far behind this post) after being woken up by an unexpected visitor, Reader and the boys try to find a way to make themselves less intimidating to the townspeople.

Alone With You (William Afton x Fem! Reader) pt. 3 - @ruh--roh-raggy - Reader runs into an old familiar face at Freddy's, Will has a little bit of an accident, Henry flies into absolute dad mode, some slightly chaotic fluffy fun all around.

THE STILL UNTITLED ICEBURG FIC - (For those of you that have been around for a few of these updates, you'll know this fic has been plaguing my brain for months. It is on the cusp of being finished, I still have zero concept what to do for a title, but I will be damned if I don't publish this.) Reader returns to her home of Water7 after years of running from her past. After seeing the man she had fallen in love with as a teenager she knows that the only place for her to be is at his side. But, can she forgive herself for the hurt she caused in the past in order to do so?

The Baptism (Charles Greywolf x Fem! Reader) SMUT - Part 2 of the Sacrilege Series! After deciding to fully convert to the church, Reader turns to Father Charles for guidance. Wanting to do everything in his power to help ease her nerves over the ceremony he offers to walk her through it ahead of time, in order to not have the pressure of the entire congregation watching her. When they find themselves alone, neither one of them is sure how long they can keep their true feelings hidden for the other.

Untitled Dave Miller Smut - @ruh--roh-raggy - All thanks to @yellowbunnydreams I have a new grungly weird man to write stuff about. And her Dave makes me particularly feral. More details to come...

[yuikomorii]

Happy Birthday to the BEST BOY!!🥳🏀❤️

// You have the ability to accomplish everything you set your mind to, and we all know you’re the apple of Yui’s eye. Thank you for never giving up on others and for making Yui the happiest girl alive while letting her feel like a normal teenager! (*＾ワ＾*)

Love you, Ayato! 🫶🏻

Since you guys asked for a new scenario, I decided to deliver it uwu. I’m still not very confident in my writing skills and I’m aware some parts sound really cheesy but I truly hope you will enjoy it! 💖

~Ayato’s Birthday short story~

Yui: Phew… it’s finally done!

( It took me three fails to make his cake but thankfully I finished it on time! )

Uuh… It was supposed to look better though but maybe the good result lays in the taste?

— Yui tries it —

Just like I thought, the taste didn’t deceive me! I tried my best not to make it too sweet, therefore I truly hope Ayato-kun will like it.

Speaking of Ayato-kun, I wonder if he woke up. It might sound a bit childish but I really want to be the first to congratulate him~!

— Place shifts to Ayato’s room —

Yui: Eh? The door is open…? Could it be that he’s awak—…! He left?

???: Nfu, what’s with the long face? Did you and Ayato-kun have a fight~?

Yui: L-Laito-kun! Gosh, don’t just whisper in my ear like that!

Laito: Why not~? Is it because it arouses you? As expected from you, Bitch-chan, you really grow into that nick—

Yui: E-Enough…!

Look, Laito-kun… do you happen to know where exactly Ayato-kun went?

Laito: And what if I do?

Yui: Well… in that case, where is he?

Laito: Bold of you to assume I’d tell you. You’re always so naive~

Yui: Eh? That’s…—

( Of course this guy wouldn’t help me! I can’t believe I really thought asking him would be a good idea… )

Laito: Nfu, I know that face, Bitch-chan, you were judging me in your thoughts, weren’t you? How rude~

Yui: W-Wait, you got the wrong idea! I just—

Laito: And I was merely trying to do you a favor, but I suppose you don’t appreciate such things from any man, am I right?

Yui: I don’t really get what you mean…

Laito: Well…~ all I’m going to say is that if you tried using your head a little, then maybe you would be able to guess where Ayato-kun is.

Yui: Hmm…

( Now that I think about it, the weather is beautiful today, neither too hot nor too cold. As far as I recall, this is Ayato-kun’s ideal type of weather for playing basketball. In that case… could he really be outdoors? )

Ah, I might actually know the place!

Laito: See? Making use of those brain cells once in a blue moon wasn't all that difficult, was it? Now hurry up or else you won’t be the first one to wish your precious boyfriend a “happy birthday” ~

Yui: …!

( Did he eavesdrop on me today!? )

( G-Geez… It’s a bit embarrassing knowing that he listened to such things. Despite this, he truly managed to be helpful in some way. )

Y-Yeah, I’ll leave right now. By the way… thank you, Laito-kun.

— Yui walks away —

Laito: ( Nfu, I wonder if she really guessed that place right. Too bad that desperate face didn’t last any longer, otherwise I might have truly taken advantage of it.~ )

— Place shifts outside the mansion —

Yui: Hoh— that’s a bit heavy!

( I tried to fit everything for his birthday in this basket but it weighs more than I expected! )

( Uuh… I really hope Ayato-kun is around here. )

???: Tsk, damn it!

Yui: That voice—! Ayato-kun!

Ayato: Huh? Yui?

— Yui jumps into his arms —

Yui: Happy Birthday, Ayato-kun…!

Ayato: Hah? Ah… Yeah…

So you remembered it, huh?

Yui: Obviously, there’s no way I would forget such an important day!

Ayato: It wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Birthdays have never been a reason to celebrate for vampires; they are just like any other day. Basically, we couldn’t care less.

Yui: Well… that might be so, however I do care about it. It’s true that humans and vampires have distinct points of view and mindsets, but this still won’t stop me from considering this day special. After all, that’s when Ayato-kun was born and I’m grateful for that, as a result I want to celebrate your birth.

Ayato: …

Yui: ( He suddenly went silent… Ah, did I really exaggerate with that confession? )

Ayato: Yui…

Yui: …!

( He’s smiling so brightly! )

( I would have never thought those words to make Ayato-kun so happy but seeing him like that… my heart can’t help but fill up with so much joy too…! )

Ayato: Geez, I’m supposed to be indifferent about my birthday but look at me grinning like a fool due to a Chichinashi such as yourself. Now you better take responsibility or else—

Yui: ( He says it in such a threatening way but that blushy face proves exactly the opposite, fufu. )

Ayato: Oi, what’s up with that basket?

Yui: ( Oh, right! )

I got something for you!

Ayato: Heh, only for me?

Yui: Yup!

( Although, I truly hope nothing got crushed. )

— Yui opens the basket and serves cake —

Yui: I know it doesn’t look perfect but I’m confident the taste is on your liking. I remembered that you aren’t too fond of very sweet food, therefore I tried avoiding adding marzipan and focus more on the fruits instead. Do you… like it?

Ayato: Haa… there’s no need for those useless explanations. You made that whole cake for me, so yeah, isn’t it obvious that I’d like it?

Yui: Ayato-kun…

— Ayato tastes it —

Ayato: Mm… as expected, it’s good! To be honest, Takoyaki would have been a far superior choice, but I can't deny that the cake Chichinashi made is also quite tasty.

Yui: Fufu, I knew exactly that you were going to say that, so I prepared this for you!

— Yui serves him Takoyaki —

Ayato: Hah!? Are you a magician or somethin’?

Yui: N-not at all! I just know Ayato-kun loves Takoyaki so much that he would eat them everyday, hence they couldn’t miss out on his birthday, right?

Ayato: You…

— Ayato pins her down —

Yui: Eh—?

Ayato: Bet you weren’t prepared for this, were you?

Yui: ( Is he going to suck my blood? )

— Ayato kisses her —

Yui: Nn…!

Ayato: Now I am the one catching you off guard. How does that feel, eh?

Yui: Good…

Ayato: Oh? What happened to “Ayato-kun, that’s so embarrassing!” ?

Yui: I-I mean… it is a bit yet I can’t deny that Ayato-kun’s gentle kisses are the best.

Ayato: Tsk… Why not so cute and honest all the time? Is it ‘cause of my birthday or what now?

Yui: I just felt like it…

( He’s just getting cuter and cuter! )

By the way… there’s one more thing I have to give you.

— Yui starts searching —

Ayato: A photo frame?

Yui: That’s so. I asked the school photographer to take this photo exactly when you scored and brought victory to your team. The happiness you felt in that moment… that’s something I always wish for you to experience.

— Ayato slightly blushes —

Yui: I also tried to decorate the frame myself based on what you like the most b-but if it’s too childish, then I will try to——

( He’s hugging me! )

Ayato: “What you like the most” she said, but how come I don’t see her there too then?

Yui: T-That’s—!

( Was that an indirect confession!? )

Ayato: Pfft… haha, that’s exactly the reaction I expected!

Love you, idiot. You really are the best~!

— Ayato stands up and starts walking away —

Yui: W-Wah—! Hey, d-don’t make fun of me like that!

Ayato: Can’t hear you~! If you wanna tell me something, catch me then!

Yui: You meanie!

— Yui stands up and starts running after him—

Yui: ( I can’t help but feel like a child once again when playing with him like that. It’s such a nostalgic feeling that somehow feels so distant... )

( As we run around the mansion, Ayato-kun is showing me his genuine smile… that’s the face that makes me fall more and more for him each and every day. )

( I love you Ayato-kun, thank you for being born. )

[msbutterfly5294]

Writing Advice For Those Who Struggle With Getting The Story Down 🦋🔏

📚 Know Your Writing / Creative Process .

This may seem so simple but it’s taken me YEARS to find or even acknowledge mine . I am more of a short burst writer , I write a lot better when writing for a minute to less then half and hour , unless I have another person / group to collaborate with . I am also a plotter , I write better when I have information about who my characters are , what the story is about , the conflicts , etc etc ; because I am a very forgetful person and tend to get off of track . There are about four to six types of writing processes that I know of : Plotters and Pantsers ( or both ) , and Short Burst Writers and Long Burst Writers ( or both , in some cases ) . As you write , I encourage you to notice if you work in short bursts or long bursts of time and if you create better when planning what you’re going to do or just winging it . None of them are bad , if anything , they reveal how you function and the path to creating that story you love .

📒 Keep A Journal / Document Of Every Idea You Have , Even If You Don’t Use The Majority Them

You know those times where you’ve been tired all day , can’t think properly throughout , and finally when you have time to nap or sleep , your brain suddenly decides it’s time to show you a detailed outline of your story in its entirety ? . . . Just me ? Anyways , by the time it comes it your mind , for some of us , it almost slips away as soon as it arrives . I recommend keeping a small journal on your person at all / most times and - or have an app on your phone ( ex. Google Docs , Notes , etc ) where when that idea decides to show itself to you , put it down . If you have neither , find a way to keep it in your mind until you can write it down or find a pen and paper of any kind and write it down . And , VERY IMPORTANT REMINDER. . . Not every idea you have may not work for a single story or the project you are currently working on , you don’t need to use every idea that comes to mind .

💜 Remember To Take Breaks

I know for myself that life of a creative is fulfilling and fun . Even if I start to feel burnt out and apathetic towards my own creations , I push myself to continue its work because. . . My stories are my life . They give me purpose . They make me happy and fulfilled . And when those feelings of burn out and apathy start to peek through , I genuinely panic because I don’t ever want to feel that way towards my own stories so I work harder . Turns out those feelings arise and end up creating writers block BECAUSE I’m overwhelmed and pushing myself . I admit , when I do take breaks , even for a day or two , I become sorrowful and depressed because I’m not working on my stories ; but during those moments of a much - needed break , I end up coming to an epiphany with something I didn’t know about the stories , finding new ways to drive the story in the direction I need , discovering fun or disturbing facts about the characters , and-or more things . It also helps in taking breaks so you have fresher eyes and processing when you return to your creative projects . You can see typos more , the clarity of how something is written , what needs improvement or what you like about it . So. . . In conclusion , go touch grass or something , especially drinking that clear splashy thing we call water .

[erika-xero]

Thinking a lot of how social media affect art, how it is getting increasingly more difficult to earn money with it and honestly it just... makes me so sad?.. Disclaimer: I do not want you to pity me. I just want to share some thoughts. Some fears, maybe. Some regrets.

I know that I might never be able to make a good fortune by drawing illustrations, because it seems that I was entirely wrong with my priorities? I always wanted to do more: bigger pieces, more characters and hidden details. I wanted my art to tell a story, if possible.

Who could possible know that most of the people will move to mobile devices with small vertical screens, on which wide detailed illustrations with cinematic feel will look the worst?

Who could possible know that the algorythms of the social media would want you to draw MORE yet, somehow, draw less? I could go insane doing the same stuff over and over again: small portraits, halfbodies in the same simplistic style because they look best in instagram or on tumblr mobile app and gather more attention? And they are also faster to make, thus you can please the allmightly algorythm posting every day or two?..

I love my work, I adore doing various things, I love it when one week I work on a traditional art fullbody with a golden halo and the other three weeks - on a digital artwork with a dynamic fighting scene. But gods. How tiring is it to know that the piece you've been working on will get barely any attention, because three-weeks gap in my posting schedule will, for sure, upset the allmighty algorithm.

They say that it is always bad to switch style or a theme, because people get upset and unfollow you once they see something they aren't waiting to see. Different character body type? Unfollowing. Different facial feature? Unfollowing. Different aesthetic? Unfollowing.

Slightly different shading and coloring? Unfollowing.

But variety has key importance to me. I wish to draw characters which are drastically different from each other. I want to experiment. I want to explore. I want a drawing to be a puzzle I will be solving for hours, days, weeks, never getting bored. I do not wish my work to become a rutine to serve the algorithm or even the general public.

I see, like, those commercially succesfull artists, who post every day earning more money per week than I will be ever earning per month. It is all the same story over and over again: conventionally attractive characters. Halfbodies. Pleasant facial expressions: faint smiles, slightly raised eyebrows. Simple pose, 3/4, detailed clothing. Always the same stylistic choises. Always the same aesthetic.

Of course, sometimes they do draw stronger, bigger pieces, they experiment, they search for something new - but mostly secretely. In private. During the free time they earn - by their hard work and dedication.

I... can not afford drawing stuff for myself in my free time. Honestly, I don't have free time either than the time I spend on my trips to hometown - the only moments I could spend with my family. Neither can I draw five similar pieces in a row, because my brain starts to melt like a strawberry sundae?.. Because when I get bored, I lose concentration? Because, I made variety the key feature of my art and this turned out to be the worst decision an artist can make?

Am I just... weak? Am I stupid? Am I unworthy? Am I childish for wanting my job to be fun and entertaining and fulfilling to do?

There's this group chat I am in, and today someone, the succesful artist, said that anyone, who has less than 10K followers are, to say so, a no one? All of a sudden I feel so upset. My day is ruined. I never had 10K anywhere but VK (which is absolutely useless to anyone doing commissions). I never even cared about numbers... I never wanted to be big. Be popular. For most of the time, my biggest wish was to feel... fulfilled? To be happy, be proud of what I am doing?

I feel fulfilled. But I also don't want to starve myself to death. And I certainly feel like if I, one day, will want to have family, I wouldn't be able to make enough money to afford having a child.

Was I... entirely wrong? Did I waste my time chasing phantoms? Is it too late for me? Will I be among those, who might not survive the hard times, at least, as an artist?

[haberdashing]

What's the prepper mindset for? Like. Should we be worried and if so then what should we be worried about? (saw the book post and that you mentioned 'prepper mindset' which makes me think of those survivalist ppl in usamerican reality shows who live in the middle of nowhere and hoard food? cuz that's only where I've seen it and even then I dont fully get it tho)

I mean, there's a lot of definitions of "prepper" out there, and those shows definitely show one possibility there. Gun nuts who hoard weapons are, unfortunately, another. But neither of those is quite what I'm going for myself...

For me personally, it's sort of a general desire to be prepared for emergencies. Most likely natural disasters, possibly terrorism or a civil war or some such.

The goal: have basic supplies at hand (food's a big one, and water, batteries/power packs, flashlights, extra clothes, some other basic tools, I'm not too concerned with weapons myself), know where they are, know how to use them.

Things like going off-grid or being able to live in the wilderness are part of some preppers' goals, but not mine. And I'm not terribly concerned about the end of civilization as we know it, either. I'm not trying to live in fear--I have an anxiety disorder, I don't need any extra fear there, lol.

But if you have the time, money, and energy for it--which I fortunately do--it doesn't hurt to get a little bit extra together just in case you end up being unlucky and have to deal with, say, a blizzard that knocks out your power, or a wildfire that's heading towards your house, or possibly some sort of terrorist attack or riot but those really are less likely than the above, especially for usamericans like myself.

Obviously those odds do shift based on location. Here in Chicago, I don't really have to be prepared for a hurricane, and earthquakes and volcanoes would also have to be something big and rare (New Madrid fault acting up again or Yellowstone megavolcano blowing, respectively). If I were in Florida, hurricane preparedness would be more important, but I could ditch blizzard supplies. And get outside the US and those odds might shift further--if you're in Ukraine, for instance, stuff for war and physical combat might well be one of the major concerns to prepare for.

Really, much of what I get is either just more of the stuff I'd use anyway (ex. I use battery packs for my phone regularly enough anyway, but instead of just having one or two, I have several as back-ups) or little things that might be handy to have even in a non-emergency situation and aren't difficult to buy or store just in case (ex. paper clips, rubber bands, safety pins... I might not have a specific plan for them but they're good to have on hand).

And I know the post you mentioned, and while it's not traditional prepper stuff, I do think that reading material, whether physical or electronic, is a good thing to have on hand just in case as well. A bit to learn new stuff, but mostly to stave off the boredom. ADHD brain wants options for how to spend time if the Internet goes down, and books and ebooks are a good solution there.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Hello, I'm a humble fanfiction reader from the ancient times, when there was only a fanfiction.net, and I just came by to tell you, how much I adore your One Piece Stories. They really help me to calm down before sleeping and make me smile when my little world is crumbling. ❤️ I saw your post about the voices telling you lies and I would like to help, or at least distract you. 😉 So, here are my silly questions for you:

1. If you were a pizza, what kind of pizza would you be?

2. If you could choose a new color for the sky, what color would you choose and why?

3. If the One Piece was a cookie, do you think Luffy would eat it? 🤔

4. Captain Kid vs. Magneto, who would win?

5. Why are planets round-ish? Only wrong answers please.

6. What is your take on fake-pockets on pants?

7. If you could talk to people for the rest of your life in only one way, what would you choose:

a) rap-batteling

b) Musical singing

c) binary code

d) R2D2 beep-bops?

8. If you were a pirate, what would you call your crew?

9. Kiss-Marry-Kill: Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers, Pennywise? (I know, that's a hard one.)

10. Bite Shanks in the buttcheek or suck on Mihawks toe?

Ok, that's it for now. I hope it helps, Love. Stay strong, I'm rooting for you! ❤️

HELLO FELLOW FANFIC VETERAN ♥️♥️♥️ I still have an account on fanfiction.net. Not active in the least bit, but it's there, with earlier iterations of some of my fanfics here, from when I was in my mid-teens. Sometimes I like to go read them and have a little cringe for old times' sake.

I'm always so glad to hear that any of my work offers comfort in anyway. I write partly as a comfort to myself, and it's the same reason I started sharing it here after being inactive in the fan fiction community for over a decade. Was still writing, I just figured out over time that I garnered more enjoyment out of writing for myself than for an audience, and only started posting again once I learned that I can write for myself and still share it with others.

The asshole voices significantly settled down after I put my metal playlist on full blast and laid down with my headphones on. There's just a lot going on right now and my brain was being way too loud about it. I actually finished a chapter last night but it was just...ugh. Couldn't focus enough to edit or type my author notes.

1. New York style pepperoni, no question. I love pizza in all its forms, but being from New York (originally, and I want to go back so bad I curse my family for ever moving to this hell-state) the classics win out.

2. Green. Because planet Namek.

3. He would not hesitate for even a SECOND. And to be totally fair neither would I.

4. Magneto, particularly Ian McKellan's Magneto. You do not F around with super-villain-Gandalf, I do not care who you are.

5. The round shape of planets is a natural defense mechanism against black holes, which are far less likely to swallow spherical planets because they prefer...a square meal AHAHAHAHAAA okay sorry that was fcking awful i'll stop now

6. Fake pockets are the root of all evil. Especially fake pockets that are just deep enough for me to catch them on my kitchen cabinet/drawer handles.

7. Definitely beep-boops, no contest.

8. I am a pirate though okay, like that's my crew's jolly roger there above my masterlist, I'm just not the captain or a crew officer or anyone important, probably a janitor or something, anyway yeah Hurricane Pirates

9. Kiss Pennywise (1990 It was my first ever horror movie ♥️), Marry Freddie (he's hilarious and I love him), kill Mikey (it's not that I DON'T enjoy the Halloween movies, just not as much as other 80s slashers)

10. I cannot handle feet, but I will more than happily bite Shanks on the ass, and I somehow doubt he would complain.

This has been delightful thank you so much, I was even able to develop a gods-awful planet joke out of it that I will be subjecting absolutely everyone to ♥️ ❤️

[void-speaks]

tell me about your little guys. what's their deal.

I'm gonna let you know that seeing such a thing in my notifications sent a wave of the funny happy chemicals through my brain. And also thanks for asking because much like a vampire who needs to be invited in first, I need to be asked first or else I combust.

So. Unsurprisingly, it was originally inspired and branched out from Hazbin Hotel, specifically The First Asshole, I mean the First Man Adam, you know the one. But then it just... branched off a bit too far?

So. The Bible, right? Take the most basic concepts that children who don't come from heavily religious households would know and then add sprinkles to it.

Originally, there were two Deities (exclusively referred to as Deities when there's both of them, and as God when there's only one), who took it upon themselves to create something unique and beautiful, a world where new life could thrive. Why was there two? Because naturally, all things have to be balanced. So for simplicity, we'll call one of them the Dark One and the other one the Light One, one which controls the stereotypical evil we know, the other controlling the stereotypical good. So the two of them created this beautiful world, filled it with various creatures–

And then proceeded to get into an argument. The Dark One vanished mysteriously (only their "second half" knows why they disappeared but don't know where to). From that, the world balance was a bit thrown off. Of course, mother nature doesn't need any God or Deity to keep it going, but the scales still need to be balanced somehow. So naturally, to make up for the loss of the Dark One, the "evil" which they were in control off began to spread. Now, putting the weight of an entire universe on just one God's shoulder, even if said God was powerful enough to create said world, it's still a lot. So, to help them deal with the consequences of the disappearance, God created angelic beings.

This is where the story of the Archangels starts. There are a lot more than just them, but the main five are:

Lucifer Morningstar, The Son, originally The Shield;

Michael, The Sword;

Gabriel, The Messenger;

Uriel, The Mind;

Raphael, The Shield, originally The Light;

(all working titles much or less).

Of course there's way more than just these five, but... you know. Favoritism and all.

After the whole split up incident, we're introduced to a funky little place called The Abyss, where the darkest of creatures are residing, ready to feed on the energy and life essence of anything and everything that is breathing and moving and whatever else.

Lucifer and Michael were both responsible for not allowing these creatures to crawl their way up to Earth, and from where to the Heavens. Lucifer would hunt these creatures down and keep them at bay, Michael would be the one to slain them if need be. But it's also worth noting that neither of them was more important than the other – they both were meant to be equals in their Heavenly duties. Gabriel originally wasn't a messenger of God, nor was he an Archangel at all, so he comes into play a tad bit later. Uriel is one of the wisest of the Archangels, having knowledge of anything and everything in his position (and probabaly a lot of things that he frankly shouldn't know but still does.) What he does is basically research – trying to figure out where the anomalous evil activity is coming from and how much and how badly it affects the world that the Deities have created, as well as finding ways to prevent said evil from doing harm. His position is just as important as Lucifer's and Michael’s, for he is the reason why they know how to keep those creatures away efficiently in the first place. Why couldn't God be their teacher? Well, I did say that Uriel was doing research and trying to find ways to deal with their current state of the world. God is not all knowing (not when they're alone) and much like them, Uriel doesn't just have all of his knowledge installed in his brain from creation. Plus, the world has a tendency to evolve even without the involvement of a higher power. Raphael came into existence later much like Gabriel.

Now, I'm sure you may be wondering: "Do the Archangels know about the missing God?" And the answer is, no. They don't. Well, not all of them anyway. While Uriel didn't have all of his knowledge magically engraved into his brain upon creation, he did have some, and that knowledge should've come from somewhere or someone. So again, maybe he knows a little too much than what was intended.

So, the creatures are under control, the world is thriving and everything seems fine and dandy. Except... Well, even immortal creatures capable of creating an entire universe with but a snap of their fingers can get a little lonely. So this is when humans come into play.

First, there was Adam. God created their beautiful Archangels, but there was something so... blank about them. Like they were lacking something. Sure, they way have worn different clothes and even in different colors, had different hair, heights, eyes and whatnot, but still. Archangel Michael, "he who is like God" was a perfect example of everything good and holy. So Adam's appearance was modeled after him.

What was lacking in the Archangels was... a consciousness? Sure, all of them acted a little differently from one another, but it was purely so that they could fulfill their duties better. So with Adam, God gave him a mind of his own, one which he didn't write any personality traits into but instead let it naturally form.

So there was the creation of the first human.

The loss of their second half was beginning to become quite the heavy burden, since the creatures of the Abyss started to become even wilder with the creation of a human, making them more difficult to handle. So, to help deal with the consequences of tough battles, and to communicate with the human, Raphael and Gabriel came into existence to fulfill those respectful duties.

And then there was the creation of the second human, Eve. Most of the time angels (referring collectively to all beings in Heaven) were all busy with their duties, even Gabriel who was the one talking to Adam the most wasn't really different from all the others, talking to God was near impossible and animals weren't enough to keep him entertained anymore. So Adam asked for a companion. And so God gave him a companion – Eve. Now, keep in mind that all angelic beings are AAA – aromantic, asexual and agender. What about God? God was not a stranger to feelings of joy, sorrow or sympathy (I mean yeah, they must've came from somewhere in humans) but the only type of love they ever experienced was definitely not romantic or sexual. Eve was not created to become Adam's romantic partner, or at least was not intended as one, just a companion.

Adam's personality took more after Gabriel with some unique traits he developed on his own, same with Eve.

Eve is a curious individual, seeking out knowledge about the world around her, which is why later on she tends to hang around Archangels like Uriel and Gabriel the most. Her curious nature make it a lot easier for her to talk with angels despite being aware that they're more powerful than her.

Adam is... a little blank as of now. He prefers to just stay in his lane and go with the flow, always a stickler for rules and respects authority. He's sort of oblivious and innocent, which is just what his personality naturally came to be.

Adam and Eve's relationship was very close, naturally, they were the bestest of friends one could ever think of. So yeah, their relationship isn't exactly... romantic at all. They're more like siblings? Except Adam can't really tell the difference. So when God's words about love were passed down to him, he thought that he loved Eve.

...But just in a completely wrong way. He didn't know it yet, but he thought he loved Eve romantically. He didn't. Neither did she. But he thought this was what was right, this was what the two of them were created for. So now he was once again longing for a companion, for someone who'd be so different than him, someone who could maybe understand him easier (or rather just someone who he could talk to without being afraid of messing up, but he'd never admit that). He wanted a friend.

And God gave him a friend. The third original human. Silas.

Silas was a male much like Adam, albeit with a slightly different appearance. Now, Adam was basically "designed" after Michael, Eve was designed after Gabriel, who shall God take inspiration from next... surely it just *has* to be someone similar enough to Michael, someone who could maybe get along with someone like Adam. And at the time, Lucifer was the perfect candidate. So Silas was partially designed after him.

Oh and by the way, while I've been referring to all Archangels as "he" and all other traditionally masculine/male terminology, they're all genderless and in gender couldn't give a shit about which pronouns you use for them. Their sex is no and their gender is yes.

Anyway, back on topic. Silas was calm, mostly silent, a great listener. Someone who could be Adam's shoulder to cry on. And this duo worked really well with one another. Maybe even too well...

Silas' relationship with Eve was also good. They weren't friends by any means, but they were still pretty good acquaintances. And even despite the fact that Silas liked spending his time alone, Adam didn't feel lonely now.

While residing in the Garden of Eden, Silas makes a new acquaintance in the face of the Keeper of the Heavenly Gates – Armaros. The two of them become great friends despite the stiff and formal dynamic they often seem to display.

And then the Abyss creatures got Silas. Humans were just so delicious, so spectacular, so full of energy and life and essence, it was like an exquisite meal to the creatures of that realm. They dragged him down to the bottom of the universe – The Abyss itself. A place where even Archangels had to struggle to stay alive, one that would be deadly to a regular human.

However, Silas hasn't fallen alone. Armaros actually fell with him. The angel came to check up on his mortal friend after sensing some sort of disturbance in the Garden, and found him being dragged down by those vile beasts. Armaros jumped in after him, and both of them disappeared, leaving only Armaros' veil behind. Nobody in Heaven knew what happened and why the two went missing, or how they possibly could go missing.

[eldritchsurveys]

1251.

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? >> I don't think so, but possibly.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? >> I have not.

What’s the weather been like today? >> Clear and sunny, on the milder side.

What was the last exam you sat for? .

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? >> I will not.

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? .

Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? >> Black.

Do you live anywhere near the woods? >> There are plenty of woodsy areas around, but not a proper forest or anything.

Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? >> I would not.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? >> I do not. When was the last time you used q-tips? >> Yesterday, I think.

How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? >> It doesn't.

What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? .

Do you understand music theory? >> The only time I studied it was in high school choir and it frustrated me so badly because I just couldn't grasp it despite really wanting to. I'd think that I'd gotten it, and it would just all slide out of my brain like water off a duck. I don't know if I'd be any better at understanding it now, but I'm not interested in learning it now so it doesn't matter.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? >> I don't know, seven or so. I'm not tracking that sort of thing these days.

Are you expected to act professionally at your job? .

Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? >> I am uninterested in them.

What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? .

Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? >> I had it as a teenager and then it promptly cleared up when I hit adulthood.

When was the last time you got pins-and-needles? >> I don't remember, but it happens fairly often.

Why did you click to take this survey? >> It was the first one I saw that I hadn't already taken recently.

If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? .

How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? >> Neither, I find random things to listen to on Spotify.

Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? >> Possibly, but I doubt it.

Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? >> I don't think I'm particularly one way or the other, innately, but I do prefer to do things at a slower pace.

What will be the next concert you attend? >> I have no idea.

Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? .

How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? >> I don't wake up cranky very often. I think it helps that I don't have to wake up at a certain time so I'm not getting my sleep pattern interrupted by an alarm or anything.

Can you rap? >> I cannot. I'm always impressed by rappers' skill, that shit is amazing to me.

What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? .

Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? >> Not by me. There are some in the house in general, because Sparrow is a student.

What’s the time? >> 14:09. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? >> I don't.

How’s your body temperature right now? >> Comfortably warm; my space heater is running, I'm wearing a hoodie with the hood up, and my lower half is under a duvet.

Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? >> Fahrenheit.

What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? >> The space heater, incidentally. I opted for the Used/Like New one on Amazon and got it for $20 less than a new one.

Have you ever studied any ancient societies? >> Not seriously.

Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? >> I do, but not often or for a long time. I like the look of them but I don't like stressing my earlobes out.

What was the last reason you took medicine? >> A bit of sinusitis.

Do you exercise regularly? >> I try to do something with my body every day. Been trying out Hybrid Calisthenics lately but it's difficult for me to keep up with it because it's so repetitive and boring to me.

What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) >> My default when I'm at a place that doesn't have any fun concoctions that catch my eye is a vanilla latte.

Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? >> Well, more than I used to, now, but still not nearly as much as the average person. Are you feeling worried about anything right now? >> I am not, which is a godsend. Are you a gossipy type of person? >> I enjoy being nosy and listening to (or eavesdropping on, lol) other people's gossip. I'm not much of a contributor, though. I don't even like venting about interpersonal stuff to third parties, it just don't feel right.

When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? >> I don't know what I'm going to eat next. I'll probably just wait for my mind to latch onto something.

Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. >> I've had food poisoning a few times and that's definitely the sickest I've ever felt.

What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? . Do you make excuses often, or do you just get things done? >> A secret third thing -- I acknowledge the various handicaps I have to getting things done and I work with them instead of trying to fight against or dismiss them. Have you seen your best friend today? .

What can you smell right now? >> Nothing, considering my sinuses are acting up.

Any important birthdays coming up? >> Sparrow's is in a few days.

Fireworks: yay or nay? >> I'm sensory-defensive and I have the misfortune of living in a state where they're legal for the average joe to purchase and set off in their backyard, so... big, big nay.

Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? >> I haven't decided yet. I might play a bit of some game or another after this to get a dopamine hit before I do the dishes.

How about tomorrow? Any plans? >> No plans.

Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? >> I have been doing my own laundry since I was in middle school.

If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? >> I don't know, man. What colour are your headphones? >> Black. My earbuds are navy blue.

Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? >> Indianapolis. Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? >> I have a Twitter account so I can look at NSFW artwork from tumblr users who have stopped trying to post it to tumblr. That's literally all I use it for, I am extremely uninterested in actually using Twitter.

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! >> I've seen photos of them and I think they're spiffy. :3

What was the last movie you saw at the theatres? >> Longlegs.

Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? >> Man, so many. I just love movies.

If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? >> Hmm...... theremin. Talk about a party trick!

Do you overthink a lot of things? >> I am an expert ruminator.

Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? >> Sure.

[ihavewolfears]

seen and not seen | a lycanthrope tale

"he imagined this was an ability he shared with most other people, they had molded their faces according to some ideal. maybe they imagined that their new face would better suit their personality. or maybe they imagined that their personality would be forced to change to fit the new appearance"

i noticed the claws first. the sun hadn't risen when i scratched my face. thank god for the extra fur, otherwise i would've broke skin. i have before. i looked at my hands- paws i should say. i'll never get used to that. i expected more shock when this day came, instead i was met with a strong, unfamiliar feeling.

i didn't want to look in a mirror.

continuing around my body, my legs were longer. maybe by half-a-foot. body covered with beige-tan-ish fluff. i thought i'd look more grey i thought to myself. my paw pads grazed my stomach. so soft! softer than i could have ever imagined! i started with circular motions, like my paws were brushes. my body a snare. complete warmth.

i didn't want to look in a mirror.

yawning, i realized how big my mouth had become. how long my tongue was. i could reach the tip of my snout no issue. except i sneezed immediately. my lungs held more air, i soon realized. i could finally run now. i would need new sneakers. my paws were huge now. a streak of light entered unannounced through the blinds. it hurt my eyes. i thought i had at least another hour. light didn't matter, i could see everything in my room no issue. only i could be excited about improved eyesight.

my eyes wandered to my mirror, then to the floor.

light was starting to consume my room. i diverted my attention to the window. outside. the woods. in the backyard, at the top of an old oak tree- i saw what looked like an eastern screech owl. aren't they supposed to be nocturnal? i guess i was supposed to be, too. i finally got a good look at my body, even though i was still on my bed. you couldn't tell just from looking, but my joints hurt. this is the fifth time i've shifted, first time being awake and aware. it doesn't get any less painful.

i remembered how much i hurt when i saw my face.

it was inevitable. i knew i'd regret it. i hated myself. werewolf or not. there was a disconnect between what i was seeing and what my brain was registering. to close that gap would be to understand myself.

i stared. for a long time.

moving my face from side to side, muzzle being my main focus. no emotion, no muscle could make me smile. so that's when i widened my jaw. sharp. very sharp. i could take someone out in one bite.

comfort was growing.

i liked my ears quite a bit. the more i stared, the more i felt something take over me. a force neither good nor evil. it was a sensation. putting my paws on my face, i kept moving. touching. feeling this vessel i was in.

it didn't matter if i was human or wolf.

when i looked into my eyes, i saw darkness. endless nothingness. so long now i've tried to hide from it. it's one thing to exist in nothing, it's another to cower in nothing.

another first for me- the most important one, i would soon find out- i was conscious. i was aware of what i was. a breeze began to form from behind me. quickly turning back, i realized it was my tail. stupid dog, he would have said to me. he could never see me like this.

that's the first time i thought of him after shifting. a lot of firsts this morning. i still haven't told him. how could i? he'd never accept me, LOVE me as this. a monster. if he were to ever find out, i would have to love myself like this. a lovely paradox.

hours i sat cross-legged on the floor, looking at my phone. my reflection. it was like i was meditating. all while trying to understand. will i ever understand why my body does this? will i ever feel comfortable with myself? to settle for comfort is to survive. i am still flesh in whatever form i take. i still feel in whatever body i'm in.

i could learn to love this form.

frankly, that's when i wanted to do better. that's when i wanted to be better. there's no doubt this shifting would ever stop, so why should i stop learning how this works? learning is the only way i would be able to love myself- as a wolf, as a human, as an entity who feels. one day i might tell him, if i felt comfortable. i have a long, isolated journey to traverse before that.

i will learn to love myself. i will learn to be myself. i will learn to be authentic. i am more than flesh, i am more than beast. i am more.

"they may have an ideal appearance based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse. some have gotten halfway there, and then changed their minds.

he wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake."

[pack-the-pack]

Going though your blog and answers has me ✨ fascinated ✨ and I mean that in the most positive of ways. ABO is a hit or miss because it frequently intersects with my scent kink but only in the most specific of ways lol. (It has also been rotting my brains in trying to come up with different hcs lately so thank you for satisfying that scratch)

Originally came here from your slur list which I'm Obsessed with because mundane world building (mundane as in every day, I very much love it XD) so going through it was such a treat.

And now having spent almost an hour scrolling, I can confidently say that I love your blog ~

(I'm also on your 'give chan all the love he deserves' boat and currently Going through it trying to find good fics XD. If you have any recs I would be forever grateful <3)

Food for thought: I know most head cannons around abo stay relatively away from deviation aside from personality (going off fanfics, I haven't explored blogs that much, a travesty I'm now realizing), but knowing that in humans neither sex nor gender is binary in any way has me wondering what those deviations might look like in an abo setting. What would intersex look like in this setting? Pheromones are pretty obvious, certain scents being correlated with certain presentations, but the potency could also bring up insecurity (going off your beta having weaker scents hc). Glands could be missing or placed differently (is the scent kink obvious lol) but seeing as they're important for communication, that could be an interesting take on ostracization as the "inept" one. I won't get too far into the surgery done to irl intersex folk because this is fun fantasy, but it's another aspect to explore.

All to say, I'm just fascinated with the evolution and the "how we got here" side of abo and all the ramifications that come with it lol.

Hope you have a good day! You've made mine with a new blog to explore -w-

Hello!

So sorry, for taking so long to answer. I've been neglecting my asks a lot, there's nearly 100 of them, and I know I'll never get them down to a reasonable number. Oop :V But slowly I'll get through SOME hahahaha. First things first: I'm incredibly grateful for all the kind words. I know I've slowly got less and less time over the years to dedicete to this blog, But I still try to come by whenever I have some time to spare. And to know that there are people out there that really enjoy what I write and create is very heart-warming. Ah yes, the infamous slurs post. The A/B/O magnet that curses my notifications lol. Like I said in my last post, one day people will realize this is for FICTION, and as you said, world-building, not a real thing? Antis be bafflings as always, but what else is new, ey? YES! Channie deserves so much love. I unforutetly don't have any fanfics to rec, even though I am writting one myself. But I gotta say, as I write, writing Chris' persona (because when it comes to Real People fanfiction, especially idols, I make it very clear that we're dealing with their personas as artists, not them as real people in their private lives) is surprisingly difficult. Most of all when it comes to writing him as a source of conflict. Because bloody hell, he's so sweet, I can't write him being petty or whiny belivably enough! When I do write my fanfic though and at least post ONE chapter, I'll let you know, if you want I can send you a link also. Now for the interesting part. As always, omegaverse biology! I think it'd be interesting if intersex people were like, maybe anatomically like one dynamics, but behaviourally like another. Specially on their scent. You look at this big person, and you think "there goes an Alpha", but then they just smell like sweet Omega or Beta and you're like "wait a sec--". I like the idea of different shapes and placements of glands too! That'd be quite interesting. As for the gonads and reproductive organs, technically in my verse, Alpha females and Omega males are in a way, already what one may consider intersex (at least one interpretation of it). Female alpha have a slit/vagina that acts as a sheath for their penis, which only grow upon arousal, much like cats. And at least in my verse, Omega males have a vestigial penis and testicles, that although not functional for reproduction still react to arousal and stimulus. They also have a womb accessible by their booty, which I know many people don't like, but hey, my game my rules, right? Thinking of other possible intersex presentations in a verse such as this, then one could maybe argue for functional and larger penises for "supposed" Omegas while keeping the ability to carry offspring. And for female Alphas maybe maintining the ability to carry children, like Beta females, but having a smaller, non functional penis. And also a myriad of other possibilities. Would that be enough to constitute a new dynamics? Maybe, idk actually. I think much like in real life, it'd be up to the individual to decide whether or not they want to be segregated and categorized as something other. It's certainly a fun thing to consider and build a story or some headcanons in the very least upon. Thank you for the ideas :))

[mswyrr]

Below is the 2nd part of Chapter 1 of my Sydcarmy fic, copy/pasted due to AO3 problems and post word limit here on tumblr.

Complete info on the fic and the first part can be found here.

The L ride to his apartment was quiet. Sydney stared out the window and tried to let her brain go into sleep mode watching the lights of the city pass. Carmy was quiet too. A weary, compliant blankness had come over him since the alley. 

By the time they got inside his place, she was dead on her feet, yawning and nearly tripping over the new weight bench he’d bought. She frowned down at it and then glanced around, looking for anything else he’d changed. But there was nothing. It was the same miserable, empty bachelor pad. 

There wasn’t even any fun guy stuff like a PS4. Did he do anything but go to work and work out? 

His voice startled her out of her daze. “You look beat,” he said, his expression concerned, like she was the sick one here. “Why don’t you take the bed?”

Sydney waved her hand. “I’m not going to put you out of your bed–”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I sleep on the couch most nights anyway.”

“Um,” she was so exhausted she felt feverish, honestly. She swallowed hard. “Well. Okay. Yeah –” she nodded, feeling like a bobblehead, “okay.”

He put his hands out, like he had earlier, palms up, like he was trying to appear nonthreatening. “Can I help you with your coat?”

She made a face, shrugged. “Sure, I guess.” It wasn’t like she couldn’t do it herself, but it seemed important to him. She watched as he approached and then, ever so gently, slipped it off one arm and then the other. She felt his hand lightly touch her shoulder in a quick caress. 

It was only a moment, but the look on his face was so fucking sad. Like he’d shattered something precious. But that wasn’t true. Whatever she was, she wasn’t broken, and neither was their friendship. 

“Do you need a hug?” she asked. 

His eyes widened and then darted away. “You don’t – have to do that, Syd.” He turned and busied himself hanging her coat on a peg next to his own. “It’s okay.”

Syd stepped closer, touched his arm. He froze, staring at the coats on the wall in front of him. The muscle under her hand quivered, but he didn’t turn to let her embrace him. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she said, and just stepped up and put her arms around his waist from behind. He was, like, all muscle. He was tense too, like she was going to do something to him. It was kind of weird, actually. All hard with no squish.

She rested her head against his shoulder. “Come on, man,” she said, “come on, it’s okay.” She was so tired and her head hurt. 

He heaved a deep breath. She felt it move through him, expanding his rib cage under her arms and deflating again. “You’re never going to look at me the same way again,” he whispered. 

His head bowed, like he didn’t have the strength to hold it up anymore.

It tugged at her heart. She rubbed her head against his shoulder, nuzzling the hard muscle. She was revising her opinion of those really jacked guys in movies now: no squish at all was kind of sad. “You don’t know that,” she said. 

“How could you, after what I–” His whole body tensed up harder, a tremor passing through him. It was so strange. She could actually feel his mind getting all twisted up through his body. 

On impulse, she tightened her hug as hard as she could and the shuddering stopped. He relaxed, going limp under the pressure. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“No,” he said. “It’s – nice.” There was a hint of wonder in his tone, which she took as a good thing. 

“Okay,” she said. She could feel her own arm muscles straining, but she kept her hold tight around him. She swayed a little, moving slowly sided to side, and he went along, moving with her. He felt better to hold now, more human and less like she was hugging a block of wood. 

She idly thought about how to get him to eat more and work out less. It was possible to take the obsessive gym rat stuff too far. It just wasn’t healthy. But she guessed that was true of a lot of things in his life. 

Still, somehow, it was going to be okay. She told herself this, testing the idea out as she used their gentle swaying to soothe herself as much as him. He was a mess, but people dealt with this stuff all the time, didn’t they? That’s why there were experts. There was a whole thriving economic sector of people who knew what to do about this. 

She sighed, linking her hands together in front of him to make holding on easier, and snuggled against the comforting warmth of him. He fit against her so nice, just the right size to cuddle. As they swayed, she relaxed enough that she started humming in time with their impromptu slow dance, something sweet working its way up from her memory. 

After a while, she realized it was one of her Dad’s old favorites, Sam Cooke’s “You Send Me.” She smiled against Carmy’s shoulder as she hummed. She loved that song. The melody was so warm and gentle.

Then the gears clicked over and she remembered: that was Mom and Dad’s song. Their song. The lyrics were extremely fucking romantic. The thought jolted her and she let go, stepping back and clearing her throat.

That was not a place she was going with her troubled guy friend right now. She hoped Carmy hadn’t recognized the tune. 

“Um. Yeah, so,” she was bobbing her head too much again, “goodnight.” 

He turned to look at her, confusion in his expression, but just nodded back at her. “Goodnight.” He gestured toward the back of the apartment. “You can have the bathroom first. There’s a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.” 

He looked as uncomfortable as she felt.

Christ. Had he recognized the song? Or was the whole cuddling thing just too much?

“Thanks, that’s – that’s great. That’s, you know –” she felt like an idiot, “dental hygiene is important.” 

He raised his eyebrows, but just nodded again. Placating the freaky lady from work who had invited herself over to grope him and steal his bed. “Yeah,” he said. “Important.”

Sydney turned on her heel and tried not to look like she was making an escape as she fled to the bathroom. She messed around in there as long as she could, dreading seeing him after her little performance.

Coming on to the crazy guy was a really bad idea. 

She felt guilty for thinking about it that way. It was an Old Richie kind of thought. But it was true. And surely being a good person didn’t mean she had to pretend like humming love songs to someone who was that unwell was a good idea?

It wasn’t like she was against ever dating someone with his issues. But only after he got his shit together. She guessed that would take a lot of therapy and medicine. And then he’d still technically be her boss – if The Bear didn’t go under in the next ten months. It was all so theoretical.

She brushed her teeth twice, playing for time, but then started feeling guilty. He’d let her use the bathroom first. It wasn’t polite to hog it. When she poked her head out, he was on the couch, watching a cooking show. She called out a cheery “goodnight!” and darted into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her firmly. 

She pulled off her shoes and found that the bed really hadn’t been slept in much. The crisp, white sheets and blue quilt all smelled clean and like nothing, like hotel bedding. She thought she might have trouble getting to sleep, but the moment she lay down the warm, welcoming darkness drew her in, and she slept.

-

After a couple hours of sleep, Sydney woke up and stared at the ceiling, cursing her insomnia. At home, she had ways of dealing with it. There was her special chamomile blend tea, her favorite fuzzy purple blanket, and her bookcase of comfort reads. But at Carmy’s place? After tip-toeing to the bathroom and back, she was just stuck in his sterile bedroom with nothing but her phone for company. 

For lack of anything better to do, she sat down on the bed, cuddled the pillow close and went for an old familiar pattern: research. Learning about something always made her feel better. She googled “self harm psychology” and started scrolling through websites that looked trustworthy. 

Reading the American Psychological Association’s cool, clinical prose made her feel like a weight had been lifted off her. The first thing she learned was that Carmy hadn't been lying: this wasn’t about suicide. It was a person trying to cope with “unmanaged psychological distress.” 

This wasn’t actually a life or death thing. It just looked really upsetting from the outside. 

One website with advice for families said never to ask the person the why question she’d driven at earlier. Remembering one experience could trigger another. Sydney literally pressed her palm to her forehead at that and sighed. Jesus. That’s why he’d seemed to get so lost when she’d asked him to think back over it and explain.

But how was she supposed to know? She wasn't going to beat herself up over not knowing anything about this stuff. One of them doing that was bad enough. She read a little more, bookmarking a couple websites. What she read eased her mind enough that she laid back down and started to doze as she scrolled. 

[this-blog-blocks-lackadaisy-fans]

I already beat Fallout: New Vegas, using a melee weapons build with some speech, and secured Vegas's independence.

Things I feel good about:

Goodsprings is prospering because of the increased traffic to and from the strip.

The Great Khans migrated to Wyoming and allied with a branch of the Followers, then went to college to get more knowledge.

The nightkin got cured and Jacobstown became a safe haven for super mutants.

Literally nothing changed about the Boomers, they neither died off nor expanded, they just stayed right where they were.

Things I feel bad about:

New Vegas's independence made the Followers' job a lot harder.

Violetta's brain turned Rex into a bad dog.

The Powder Gangers are still active even though I wiped out the correctional facility (though that section mentioned Vault 19, so maybe that's their actual home base). The fact that I didn't find a sheriff because I didn't like the guy in the prison and I didn't want to work with the NCR is probably more important.

The Fiends did a lot of violence, even though I never even found a quest involving them.

I'm not sure how to feel about the Kings violently pushing NCR citizens out of Freeside, and knowing that, I don't know how Goodsprings is getting more traffic if NCR citizens can't reach the one entrance to the strip anymore.

And I'm surprised the Omertas and the White Glove Society weren't mentioned? I did do their quests, after all.

I did like the game overall, even if the writing was less progressive than a lot of people made it sound (from what I've seen so far). This definitely won't be my last playthrough.

I still haven't done any of the DLCs for this playthrough (though from what I've heard about Honest Hearts, I think I'll avoid that one like the plague).

I'll probably go with the NCR next time, they seem more a lot less Obviously Bad than the Legion is, but I'd like to come to understand both factions better, since I engaged so little with them for this playthrough.

I don't know about my build though - guns would probably make Deathclaw encounters actually possible, I'd like to engage with the crafting system to any capacity. I only stuck with melee the first time because aiming felt terrible, and I didn't immediately realize that action points aren't necessary for anything other than VATS.

This also has me wanting to finish The Outer Worlds - I'm at the point of no return (also with a melee weapons build) but I wanted to do the DLCs first, except I'm underleveled because I ignored every side quest except for the Iconoclasts' questline in the name of Finishing The Damn Game I've Had For 2½ Years.

[keroppidreams]

11, 12, and 17 for the end of year ask game! Or just whichever ones of those you feel like answering ^^

٩( ᐛ )و ayy thanks for the ask!!

11. has an F/O inspired you to pick up a new hobby/interest/habit this year?

Mmm not necessarily any hobbies, but I’ve been trying different foods thanks to F/Os lol. This is super embarrassing to admit but I’m a picky eater and super hesitant to try new food…unless I see one of my blorbos eating it and then I’m like “ok i’ll give it a shot”. Ex: went to a market, saw a katsudon and my goody brain was like “I like chicken katsu…but I don’t like eggs…oh but Toshi made it look good, so I guess I’ll try it”.

I ended up liking it 🤣 no mayo involved tho. Sorry vice commander.

12. if you have spotify wrapped, were there any songs related to your F/O(s)/selfships in your top 100? if you don't, were there any songs you listened to a lot this year because they remind you of your F/O(s)?

🤔Keiji and Reko are pretty recent, so I don't have songs associated with them yet, but as for Gin and Toshi...maybe some of the Gintama ops? I enjoy listening to those ^^ oh and the covers by fans who try to imitate their VAs are pretty neat too.

17. how do you and your F/O(s) spend new year's eve together? do you celebrate in any way? do you have any important new years traditions? (if you celebrate the new year on any other point of the year than december 31 this question also applies of course!)

i couldn't decide who to talk about so I used that wheel of names site to choose for me and got Keiji. Luckily I sorta have a SI concept in mind (she's a researcher and I have her personality/background more or less down but she's nameless), but that's a whole other can of worms lol. Anyways assuming this is a lighthearted AU without any Death Game shenanigans involved, there's a good chance that Keiji might have to work that day since he's a police officer and all. So he and SI would have to celebrate New Years beforehand or earlier in the day. Regardless, they would definitely go eat soba at a nice and lowkey restaurant cause neither of them has any cooking skills (sorry Keiji, but after seeing you beg Kai to cook in ytts, I'm 85% positive you relied on take out and instant noodles to survive). Definitely a nice change of pace considering how busy Keiji is, so I can imagine he really appreciates those ordinary moments.

[onmywaytofanfic]

Ibiki x Eiko : Pain war arc 2

So...@succikko-nebulae brainworm me with a continuation of what I wrote yesterday. So...here it is...

Words: 1661

Warming: None I think

Ibiki was limping around the village, the slug still holding on him. He sighted and kept helping the villagers that he could, some paper clones of some woman were also destroying the village. He tried to stay on his feet as much as he could, suddenly the paper clones disappeared, suddenly there was some short of calmness in the village. Ibiki looked behind his team was close to him – Search for civilians what are you doing? Waiting for them to come back? – The team immediately started to look under the debris, the slug looked at him. He lay his back against some wall and looked at his wound, still bleeding, it was burning him the slug was keeping him alive. He let his back fall until he reached the floor and sat there, he breath in and out. He looked in his pockets…nothing. He only knew a technique that may help him now. He was only 31 and he wasn’t going to die today, fire is what he needed. He looked around, he was about to waste chakra on a technique when there was fire around him. He stood up again and started to walk towards a building on fire, he grabbed what was left of some wood and got closer to the fire. He lighted the wood and sat, took his shirt, and coat off. He breath – Mr. Morino… - the slug talked – Don’t do anything harshly I am doing my work.

-I am just helping you- he breathed in and out once more, ready… Suddenly a wave of relieve, he felt his head dizzy. He was fainting, he denied with his head. – I have… a dinner…- he collapsed with the fire near him. The wound was starting to feel light and soft. He has been healed. But how? He felt his chest free of any pain, his stomach and back never had felt better in his life. He looked at the sky, the screams of horror have become of rejoice the slug near him talked – Mr. Morino…Kakashi is back – He rose an eyebrow – Was he gone? – He tried to sit a little bit looking at the summoning – He was pretty much gone as you… walking among the living and the dead as yourself. – he looked at his stomach and breathe in and out.

-Everyone seems fine now…- muttered the slug. He stood up and looked at the fire that he was about to set himself to cauterize the wound. He exhaled, he wouldn’t mind a new scar, and neither would she. He looked around, his shirt was broken in pieces and covered in blood, he decided to just use his coat. He rushed to help the evacuation teams, before this sudden relief of pain may be the indicator that he was dead, therefore free of all pain. He helped his team, retrieve debris, and help those who suddenly were corpses rencounter with their families. “Fuck…Eiko…” He was focused on his job that eh forgot his most important one. He rushed to the ruins of the department and there it was his Iron Maiden, shaking with her inside. He retrieved the nails from the inside, so she was at least a little bit more comfortable. He could hear her kicking the summoning screaming and cursing, he could hear her tears. He grabbed the door and opened she was a huge mess on the floor with her legs kicking it to open it. When he saw her, he couldn’t refrain from smiling, one of his big ones that make his scary face almost turn to that of a sweet angel.

-You bastard! - she kicked him in the stomach – You moron! You devil! Stupid creature, your brain is full of dog shit you…! – she kept hitting him, he just put his hand and held her ankles. Her tears of anger started to be of joy, she started to be less feisty and stopped to wiggle her legs trying to hit him. He was holding her legs by the ankles. He pulled her towards him and let his knees drop to the floor to kiss her right there. Her tears became his, and his hers. He cupped her face in his palms and kept kissing her, letting his mouth became one big cave where they met and hungry from one another devour each other. She drank his saliva as if it was the sweetest of nectars, he drank from her like a thirsty dog who found solace in an oasis in the middle of the dessert.

He separated from her a small moment to let the air flow between them, but she did not stop her small kisses that covered his face. He laughed and enjoyed her praises, she looked at him for an instance and he gave another big kiss. She started to hit his chest – What are you doing without a shirt?- said she grumpy. He chuckled.

-I almost die and you are worried that I am running around without a T-shirt? – she gave him a headbutt, a small one. He roared with laughter, hugged her tied and roll over himself to let her rest on his chest. She buried her face there and let the tears flow. He patted her head and play with her hair, letting her fear escape from her body. She was scared for both, she cried for him too. He kissed the top of her head and let her sobbing on his chest – You…you did not move…at all…- He remain silent – You…you look as i..if you were asleep…- he felt her breast knocking her ribs trying to escape and find a safe space in his torso. He let one of his arms rested on her back -You didn’t answer me…- her voice was gone, the crying was letting her voice sound harsh and deep, she was running low. She coughed, getting drier with every tear. He felt her soft punches mad at him.

He wondered there, right at that moment, what would he do if he saw her like she did. What if she was the one on his arm, asleep in that land that he saw. Would she be able to come back? What would she see? Would it be…similar? He felt a horrible knot on his throat, he did not feel any of those since his voice started to be stable and his once and for all. He felt his lips go numb and dry, was he ready to confess what he saw on the other side? He looked at her, he was not going to tell her anything, he couldn’t do that when the shadow of war was upon them. He couldn’t leave her dreaming of a family when he did not know if once the roars of war hit Konoha would he survive it. He swallowed his dream. He found himself named it like that.

A dream.

His dream.

The distant thunder of happiness filled the village, it reached them. He did not want to join that place; he was safe and comfortable with her in those ruins. He felt how she stopped crying, but only because she ran out of tears, she still made some whimpers and mumbling sounds, scared, afraid, and pleased to be on his chest. She kissed his chest and let her fingers run through his scars, loving the small bumps here and there, the harsh feel of burnt skin and the comforting feeling of his warmth. He trapped her fingers in his hand and kissed them, he let her hand on his face to fill her with soft kisses.

She started to calm herself. He hugged her harder and started to cherish her body, feeling her warmth, he rubbed his fingers and play with his ring. He only put it when he feared that they would just discover pieces of him, to at least give something to Eiko to mourn. He toyed with it, putting it in and out in different fingers. He stopped:

-I promised you to have dinner, didn’t I? – she nodded.

-I crave your lasagne… - she laughed a little.

-One of those that you do full of meat and cheese. Oh…I can smell it – he scoffed- with that spicy tomato sauce that you do…It leaves you a subtle spicy after taste.

-With onions, garlic…peppers

-I love when you add that. I wonder how you make the meat so tasty.

-I cooked them slowly and let them cook in their own juice…

-Hmm with the onions…

-I let them get caramelized first…you have seen me do it plenty of times. I just add all of it in the oven when it is cooked.

-I don’t get tired of it.

-Of my low-quality food?

-Of your warm food – he kissed her head and she looked at him from the chest. She pinned her chin on him.

-There is work to do…- she nodded – the village needs help…-she kept nodding- But… -she smiled – we could…- he dragged his words while starting to rub his back with his thumb – help them later… - Eiko gasped really loud and started to talk with a severe voice, faking it:

-Mr. Morino Ibiki, head of Konoha’s interrogation and torture…

-Torture and interrogation…- he chuckled.

-Torture and interrogation force department is trying to elude his responsibilities as head of Konoha’s torture…

-I got it – he laughed and kissed her once more

-Never do it again

-Kiss you? Okay no more kisses for you…

-Ibiki…

They stood like that in silence for a few long minutes. He softened his expression.

-You know with whom you married. – she closed her eyes and let her face sink once more on his chest.

-It is the second time Ibiki…I…I don’t know if I can handle a third – he pressed her towards his chest, dreaming of the possibility of imprisoning her there and never need to worry not seeing her nor her being in a problem.

-You are stronger than you think you are…my princess.

[whats-wild-to-you]

long distance relationship scenario?

😂😂😂 why did my brain automatically think about Jay and his s/o FaceTiming each other while naked? 😳🫢🫣🤭__________________________________________

*this scenario takes place on a hot day in July 2019*

…

It wasn’t easy being in a relationship with someone who lived halfway around the world but then again, there was nothing normal about your relationship with Jay.

You knew each other since you were little. Jay was your first kiss. Your first boyfriend. The one who took your virginity. But then he left, and although he promised to come back, you knew he wouldn’t.

So it came as a complete shock to you when he confessed his feelings for you during one of his recent visits.

“What does that mean?” You had asked him.

Were you supposed to pack your bags and follow him to South Korea? Or did he just want to get it off his chest?

The more you thought about it, the more the latter option made sense. Jay didn’t strike you as a guy who would date someone he couldn’t be with.

But you couldn’t have been more wrong.

As soon as he was back in Seoul he started calling, texting, even FaceTiming you whenever he had free time.

‘What are you doing?’

‘How’s the weather?’

‘How was your breakfast/lunch/dinner?’

‘What did you do on the weekend?’

‘How was work today?’

At first you answered all his questions with a chuckle, not quite getting his joke. But as time went by his tone changed.

‘I miss you!’

‘I wish I could be with you!’

‘I would do this and that if I was with you right now.’

He confused you, but you wouldn’t let it show. Then one day you told him about a new colleague who tried hitting on you and watched as Jay’s whole demeanor changed.

‘… and what did you say?’

“What do you mean?”

‘You told him you have a boyfriend, right?’

“I do?”

‘What the…? I know we didn’t properly talk about it but I thought you knew?’

“I’m just teasing you. Relax!” You said, watching his face on the screen get redder and redder. You refrained from telling him he looked cute when he was mad.

There was a long pause in which neither of you spoke. For a moment you thought the screen froze but then Jay blinked.

‘I know you’re not a fan of the long distance thing, but honestly, even if you were here, I wouldn’t be able to see you as much as I would want to.’

“That busy, huh?”

‘You know I’m going on tour, right? I thought maybe you’d want to join me for the U.S. leg? Come on the road with me!’

“For a whole month?”

It was doable for you since you were a writer but being crammed in a tour bus or living out of a suitcase was a weird way for a new couple to spend time together.

‘I want to see you! Be with you. I have my last show in Seattle on December 1st and then two weeks off before I have to fly back to Seoul. I’d like to spend them with you.’

“Me too.” You said, but you sounded less convincing.

Truth be told, you liked this whole long distance thing. Especially when had to listen to your friends talk about their problems with their boyfriends. They were messy, unreliable and forgot important dates. You didn’t have that problem with Jay.

He remembered to FaceTime you every day, ask about your day, tell you how much he loved you.

What would it be like if you were actually physically together? Would things still be the same or would you go on each other’s nerves because you never actually lived together.

“Did you ever live with any of your exes?”

‘갑자기?’

“Did you or did you not?”

‘Of course not!’

“Then how do you know we won’t get on each other’s nerves?”

‘Babe! Are you concerned about that? Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!’

“You think?”

‘Yes! I’m sure.’

“Ok then, I’ll go on the road with you.”

The smile on his face brightened and he winked at you when you noticed his hand traveling south to the strings on his sweatpants.

“What are you doing?”

‘I’ve missed you.’

You saw a glint in his eyes, he clearly talked about the x-rated video of you lolling around naked in bed you had sent him last month.

“Then go and watch the video I sent you.” You answered coyly.

‘Why, when I have you right here?’ He pulled his sweatpants down, revealing the fact that we wore no underwear underneath. ‘Your turn now!’

Were you really doing this? It was one thing to record a little spicy video and send it to him and another thing to strip for him live on camera.

To hell with it!, you thought, before you pulled your dress over your head, sitting there in your lace underwear.

‘You have my favorite underwear on! Admit it, you were planning for something like this to happen!’

You laughed, shaking your head as you reached behind your back to undo your bra. Simultaneously you saw Jay’s shirt come off, his washboard abs looking well defined.

Your panties were the last thing to come off before you mimicked Jay’s posture and sat legs apart in front of your laptop.

‘Touch yourself for me, baby!’

You did as instructed, massaging your breasts with one hand while the other rubbed your clit. Your eyelids fluttered but Jay’s hoarse voice made you look at him as he stroked his erection. You saw the precum dripping off its tip as Jay viciously licked his lips, his eyes glued on your body.

‘The things I would do to you!’

His sexy moans took you over the edge and you screamed out his name, panting as you threw your head back, riding out your orgasm.

Soon after you heard Jay spewing profanities as he too came. You opened your eyes and a blush crept up your face. Suddenly you felt very shy.

“Ok, umm, I gotta go. Bye.”

You quickly disconnected the call and cursed mentally when you received Jay’s text seconds later.

Don’t feel embarrassed, babygirl! I enjoyed it a lot 😉

You sighed, thinking how you’d survive the next three months until you would reunite with Jay.